What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Women's rights

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why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

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Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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does this look unsure to you?

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

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What do you call a group of asians? China.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops