why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

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What's just not right? Left

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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