whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

21

What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

Lockerbie bombing

womens rights

LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

the cow goes moo

Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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