A baby seal walks in to a club

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

thumb_up thumb_down +45

you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

thumb_up thumb_down +35

LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Lockerbie bombing

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

GRAAAAAAAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops