There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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dark humor is like food... not everyone gets it

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Lololol

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Když si to Nikolas ,dejme tomu že Bihary, you know nuseng.. hahahahaha

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops