Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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What did the man with aids say? "I'm dying and there is nothing you can do about it"

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star wars kid

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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