How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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every cloud has a silver lining

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops