Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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the WNBA.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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