knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

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knok knok whos there know one cares your gay

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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