A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

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A possesed goat: "moo"

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

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What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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