Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops