What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

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Hey

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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