Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

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Roses are red.. Your child is also red.. I drove my car over his face. <3

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Q: what's your dog's name ? A: Dog.

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

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How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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How you know when dislextic

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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