Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

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17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Hola.

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what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

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Popsicles

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

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What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

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Rick Perry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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