what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

What did the blond say when she got into a car crash? Nothing, she died.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

What do you call a black kid on a bike? Dirt bike

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

How did the man open the car? He opened in.

What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

If you took all of the garbage produced in New York City in just one week, and put it in the middle of Central Park, the stench would be unbelievable.

I just got robbed by an invisible man!!!!

Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

Why was little Jessica missing?? She was stuck in the freezer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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