Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Get 100,000 Twitter Followers for $49.99 at Ladsta.com today!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Why did Susan fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Q: Why did no one help her up? A: She had no friends Q: why was she at the play ground? A: Her parents were fighting again Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susan

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -22

BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

thumb_up thumb_down -22

did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops