What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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What do you call a black doctor? Doctor.

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How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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Julian Ha.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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What do you call a person that smells like shite and chases uglier girls than him? .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . Smelly McD the smelly cunt

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What do you call a sheep with big teeth? Mitch

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

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"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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There was a two car pile up at wal-mart. 50 mexicans were killed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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