How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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800000000000000000?0?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?0000 I hate you

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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What happened when the black man tried to cross the road Nothin. He tripped on a bug trying to get on the edge

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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you suck

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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An Asian with a big dick.

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Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

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what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

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what did jacob say to coach a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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