Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

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- Why Justin Bieber can't login to Facebook? - Because he forgot the password.

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Miscarriages.

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Multiple complications including broken bones, a fractured skull, liver disease, and the fact that all his family had been gassed by the Nazis.

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Why was the Asian guy dumped by his hot girlfriend? Well you know what they say about Asian guys.... They are too dedicated to their schoolwork.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

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Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops