When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

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A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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why was the man walking in the kitchen? idk thats why i asked

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What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

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roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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