A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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The economy.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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your going to die

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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