What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What color is a banana? yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -43

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

thumb_up thumb_down +16

QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man who has reached the highest level of prestige in all Call of Duty games? A Virgin

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What a wonderfuuuul wooorld: Would this not be a wonderful world if we instead of killing innocent children, just gRaped them hard and painfully in every damn hole and let them go home? Ad: Consider the life of the poor children, Just 0rape them hard!... For love! Awww... Moral: What moral You see any moral here? XD No Not Nerometal, I am that "leader of the Neronist... whatever" Yes, that is who I am. Real moral: "Seriously who is gonna listen to some kid who is just (severely) butthurt anyway huh? Cut their tongues off! Just do not kill them... For a wonderful world..." <3 (Not a heart lol)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops