My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

thumb_up thumb_down -68

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -152

Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The NBA lockout

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Obama 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

42

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops