How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

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The Female Orgasm

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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Have you ever seen the inside of Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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