Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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whats worse than worldwarII world war iii

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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A black guy walked in to a gas station, walked up to the counter and payed for his items with his debit card.

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops