Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

thumb_up thumb_down -18

the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my legs Doctor: It's because you're blind son

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what's purple and plastic purple plastic

thumb_up thumb_down -18

who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

thumb_up thumb_down -18

knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A knock knock B who's there A nobody

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops