"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

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You know what they say about big shoes? Big socks. You know what they say about big socks? Big feet. You know what they say about big feet? Big hands. You know what they say about big hands? Cancer.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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Why is adam jackson so black when his parents are white? their was alot of black dick up their during the pregnency. (once you go black, you NEVER go back!)

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What's worse than no wifi Nothing.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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Due to the wildlife conservation program prevalent in the neighborhood, the chicken was able to cross the road safely.

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What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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What's worse than finding the Holocaust in your apple? Nothing

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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You might be a redneck if you're from a rural area and behave as such.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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