Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +27

My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Killing your friend as a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

"Knock Knock" "Who's there" "BOO" "BOO WHO" "No it's just BOO"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops