how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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Womens rights

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This is an anti joke

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

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roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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Gay's

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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