Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Where do bananas come from? Mexico

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

So a Jewish man walks into a bar, You think Jesus being all knowing would have realized it was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

thumb_up thumb_down -76

How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -80

a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

thumb_up thumb_down -106

if a white guy, a black guy and a hispanic guy jump off a 10 story building, who hits the ground first? the man who jumped first. racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Dislike this!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops