Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

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Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops