Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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make me a sandwich!

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Eating chicken off a baby's ass

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

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17

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What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

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Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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a blind man walks into a bar it hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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