Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Finn Davidson is cool, no he's not, yes he is

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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why is a bad joke like a dull pencil? cuz thers no point!!!!

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What crime does a tree commit in order to be sent to prison? Trees on.

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A guy killed his kids and wife Pokémon GO also exists

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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I'm 4 and what is this?

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what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

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Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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