A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two nuns in a bath, one nun says to the other "wears the soap?" the other confused replies "I am sure you mean 'where' is the soap" and hands her the soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Does an Anti-Joke need to have an ironic punch line? ...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call 10 mexicans standing in a line? It's probably a lunch line for a taco vendor. And even this is just a coincidence. Everybody loves tacos.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How does a black guy die? He doesn't , he's black

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops