What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

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how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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