-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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(Guys I want to get the most likes so like my joke.) What did the person want. To get the most likes :)

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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What is big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

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What do you call it when a cave man pisses himself running from a t-rex? Historically incorrect.

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Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

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A blind man watches TV

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Who is Jim Wonderbread? A whorrible person

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my dick is like a bridge. i dont know why.

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Roses are RED , Violets are BLUE , once Valentines day is Over , All ya girls is gonna go back to LOVIN' THE CREW.

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Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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What's The Difference Between A Refridgerator And The Holocaust ? Not Much.

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One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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