Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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A black guy walks into a basketball court.

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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