How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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Fat people.

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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???????????? WTF?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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