What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

A dog walks into a bar. He asks for a drink in perfect english. People scream at the dog's ability to talk and scientists burt in and take the dog to dissect and study his brain, vocal chords, and dna.

Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

how do you make a black person stop drowning you take your boot of his head

Whats worse than 1 bee sting... 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings... The hollacaust Whats worse than the hollacaust... 3 BEE STINGS!!!

The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't rape, which her sister had experienced while traveling in 2007.

What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

Knock knock... Home invasion

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

Why did the Asian Kid pass his test? He studied hard.

A black man comes home from work.

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Because he felt like it okay!!! Just let him be!!!

what has 2 eyes but can't see... an asian

What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

Knock Knock. Whose There? Lettuce. Thats impossible.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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