Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

Where is my tractor?

What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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