What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

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A blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar. They all buy a drink and talk about their days.

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What's purple and has four wheels? A frog, except for the purple and four wheels part.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

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what's worse than getting raped the guy who raped you has aids

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what do the Holocaust and Jeff Dunham have in common? they're both hilarious

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Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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What does a black guy do to a white girl when the lights go off and there's a bed in the room? They go to sleep so they can have enough energy to work their two jobs and provide for their family after they've been evicted from their home.

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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Who wants pizza crusts?

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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What did the homeless children get for christmas? Hypothermia

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Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

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What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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5

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knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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