How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

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Heartlight

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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Hello

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roses are violets red is blue i like doughnuts doughnuts are good

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i have a christmas tree.

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a gay dog? Steve

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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irish wristwatch JLR

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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