Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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Roses are violets red is blue i like lizards they have fur

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Roses are red violets are blue you have cancer......

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Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

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How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

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roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

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We live in a world.... Yeah its called Earth.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, instead it got put in to a McDonald's chicken wrap. Life is funny sometimes, and sceane

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Mary had a little lamb... that's what she gets for having intercourse with the farm animals.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? A question and answering session of information used to test knowledge of a specific idea or person.

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Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

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why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

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a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

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I can vote and I am equal to males in the work enviornment. That's what she said.

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

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Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

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How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

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Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops