Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

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if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

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What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

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roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

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Get out of the way everybody, a group of elephants are tumbling down the mountain!

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What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

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why did the girl fall down someone threw four monkeys and a refrigerator at her

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E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Ju... Just why?

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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How can you tell if a woman is a man? If she has a penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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