why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

thumb_up thumb_down +49

So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

thumb_up thumb_down +45

roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Twenty-Four

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a black person riding a bicycle? A black person riding a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops