A Mexican man is sitting in his mansion.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Wanna hear something funny? Sure. Okay,cool

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the old man get wet even though he was using an umbrella? Because it didn't save from falling off the bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

knock knock. Who's there? The delivery man.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon ones a live the other isnt

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

i have to pee out my ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you break up a fight between two blacks I have ADD and Im proud of it

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Margret eat the banana? She was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red violets are flowers jordan and me did it for hours If you know what i mean xxx

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops