Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

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What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

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Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

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Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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A cat playing laser tag.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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what happened when a duck flew over the hunter during duck hunting season? the hunter shot at the bird, but fortunately, the hunter was nit very good so the duck flew back to his wife and children by the pond.

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Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

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Redneck girls. Now there's a joke.

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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You idiot.

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I got a boner from the waitress touching my shoulder, please dislike this

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

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Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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a pornstar comes early to a party

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SHINEE IS BACK PART HARD

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Yo mamma's so old she is dead.

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what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

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What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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