Why couldn't the man read? Because he was illiterate

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What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

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Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Well you can't drive planes

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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whats brown and sticky? a four week dead uunborn african child...

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

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How many arabs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We also have a black president.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? 1 dead babies in 10 trees.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

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My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

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What's worse than a bad test score? Getting hit buy a train!!

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what do u call a long dik gay guy Gay Dickerson

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What did the cat say to the elephant? Meow.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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