What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

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How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This doesnt rhyme, Microwave.

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how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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you thought i was going to write a joke.. bitch

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did a second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did a third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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69

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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-Wanna hear a joke? -Not really -Oh

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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