What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

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What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me your mom you dumbass and let me in

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Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

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Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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Q: What did the serail rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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Q:what do you call a black man flying a plane? A: a pilot

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Yo mamas so fat.

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What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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Is this the krusty krab? NO! THIS IS red lobster, how many i help you?

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A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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Psychics.

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Why was there a black man and a white man in a bar? Due to the probability of this occurance happening due to percentages of black/white people in a bar, this specific situation should be of no shock, in fact it is a completely normal occurance one of which should not be questioned

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Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

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Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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